Kittens vs Cattens

so according to my sources, my owner Megan moved out and got her own young. One of them ran away on the first night (HA HA HA BITCH) and the other is just a kitten, a barn kitten for that matter. The Worst Kind. 

So, what goes around comes around eh? Megan's a bitch, and she got bitch cattens. One of them is butt fug. I'm sexy. They are not. I'm Pure Bred Siamese, bitch. They are not. I'm like fuckin nobility over here, THEY ARE NOT. SO look at what she gave up.

Damn, I miss her

New Year, Same Me

So now that the holiday humbag has weared off, people are pretty much slipping back into their normal routines around the house. My servant Megan got this great new peacoat that I love to sniff all day. It's similar to the high I receive from catnip, but there's tons more of it! Hmm what else. Ever since I pulled that "stunt" in the sink eating leftover pie, my servants have been all like "ooh get him off of there" and "hey bad 'catten'" whenever I jump up onto something...WHATEVER. gay. If I'm not allowed to roam freely as I want to....life's a bowl of shit. If only my body would reflect my inner stamina and clout. I guess "if's" never come true though...ALEHRIERALKJRKSJDFLKD;lfkJSKLF

Sorry. Angry spiel.
Anyway, I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. To me, any day could be a new year to you. Like April 15th is my new year, cause that's when I was born. So I could make resolutions then. What's the big deal with Jan. 1st? Who says JANUARY FIRST gets to be THE new year?! Not I, said the catten. That's just gay.