It's the most wonderful time of the year right?
NO
I have to disagree. The most wonderful time of the year is when our owners leave on vacation and put out tons of food for us in those feeders. For sake of a worthwhile blog, back to what I was talking about. So Christmastime is definitely a fun time of the year, I'll give it that. My reasons for this opinion, however, are probably not anywhere near you mortal humans'.
I'll humor you and give you a couple of my favorite X-mas-time traditions
1. Playing in bags. Let me explain:
When you human people go shopping and bring home tons of white plastic bag with shit in them ..........sitting in them is like heaven on earth. So is cheese. Anyway, that crinkly noise they make, the handle holes to poke my head through, and the way they provide a haven for neverending circle runs are just a few of the reasons why plastic bags rock my paws off.
NO
I have to disagree. The most wonderful time of the year is when our owners leave on vacation and put out tons of food for us in those feeders. For sake of a worthwhile blog, back to what I was talking about. So Christmastime is definitely a fun time of the year, I'll give it that. My reasons for this opinion, however, are probably not anywhere near you mortal humans'.
I'll humor you and give you a couple of my favorite X-mas-time traditions
1. Playing in bags. Let me explain:
When you human people go shopping and bring home tons of white plastic bag with shit in them ..........sitting in them is like heaven on earth. So is cheese. Anyway, that crinkly noise they make, the handle holes to poke my head through, and the way they provide a haven for neverending circle runs are just a few of the reasons why plastic bags rock my paws off.
2. Playing with string.
String is by far the best thing about Christmas, because there's such an abundance. Usually I have my simple shoe string to play with, but christmas brings many a type of strings. You have the ones on the gift bags, ribbon, and string to wrap around presents ( my personal fave because it's long and skinny)
3. Rewriting Christmas tunes. Ahem:
Catnip balls (sing to Jingle Bells)
Catnip balls
Catnip balls
Catnip all the way
Oh what fun it is to get high off catnip balls all day
HEY
(Repeat to finish)
What kind of cheese is this? (sing to What Child is This)
What cheese is this you laid to eat
On my paw, as I was sleeping?
Which cattens eat with turkey treats
While dogs remain hungry and seeking?
This, this is Cheddar Cheese
Which cow herds make and cattens eat
Haste, haste to bring them me
The Cheddar, the Best of all Cheesee
O Come All Ye Bitches (sing to O Come All Ye Faithful)
O come sexy bitches
Ignorant and willing
O Come ye, o Come Ye
To my Pimpin' Place.
Come and adore me
Born the King of Cattens
O come let us adore me,
O come let us adore me,
O COME LET US ADORE MEEEE
KING OF THE CATTENS.
Have a great, merry Elvismas
2 comments:
wow elvis, ego trip-r-us eh? anyways nice rendition of the songs, we should get a record deal?
Elvis, you suck at singing, STOP! And I am better than you. Remeber that time i caught you outta mid air? You dont? oh well fuck you then.
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